The Zero RB Truther’s Rebuttal To The Start Of Free Agency

 <Definitively not written in my kitchen>

My fellow Zero RB Truthers, this is our darkest hour. NFL general managers opened free agency by doling out INSANE amounts of salary cap space to RUNNING BACKS! D’Andre Swift, Saquon Barkley, and Josh Jacobs agreed to contracts guaranteeing them TENS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS of VALUABLE salary cap space within the first few hours of the legal tampering period.

Before I continue, allow me to address how RIDICULOUS the idea of LEGAL tampering is. Is it legal, or is it tampering? It can’t be both unless tampering IS legal, in which case it’s redundant. Which is it, Roger Goodell? Is legal tampering an oxymoron, or is it redundant? Did you never learn grammar during your IVORY TOWER IVY LEAGUE education?!?! Innocent grammar is dying, and YOU ONLY HAVE YOURSELF TO BLAME!

Back to running backs. It’s been a minute since these NFL GMs have driven a carpool or shopped at the grocery store. They have NO IDEA what it’s like to be a Zero RB truther. They DON’T GET IT, and ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! You CANNOT make this stuff up.

Zero RB truthers, I hear you. YOU DESERVE BETTER! If these out-of-touch GMs won’t make things make sense, I will. I am here to speak to the manager for you. I’m going to go over the teams that made running back moves to identify which spots are going to lead to the emergence of Zero RB Heroes.

Zero RB Free Agency Takes

Dallas (Tony Pollard out)

Dallas’ lack of FA investment has been a source of consternation to Cowboys fans, but that makes it a prime opportunity for us Truthers. I expect this to be a prime rookie RB landing spot, who will likely get overdrafted. Zeke Elliott showed he still had some juice left at the end of last year. If a reunion is in the works, he could complete his transformation from the enemy to the hero.

Tennessee (Derrick Henry out, Tony Pollard in)

That sound you hear is Tyjae Spears dynasty managers weeping like small children. Pollard and Spears are the exact same player (other than Pollard having twice as many ACLs). I’m fine going after whichever one of them falls in your drafts.

Baltimore (Gus Edwards out, Derrick Henry in)

Oh my. Henry is going to be tough to pass on, even as a Zero RB guy. He could absolutely be a monster in that offense. That said, Henry saw his snaps actively cut for the first time last year. Justice Hill seemed to be the preferred Baltimore back in the playoffs last year. I like him as a target if they don’t invest heavily in a draft RB. Keaton Mitchell is not a factor for this year. A speed back coming off a late-season ACL tear is off my radar.

Los Angeles Chargers (Austin Ekeler out, Gus Edwards in)

First of all, the Chargers are 1000% drafting Blake Corum. Unless another GM is going to actively troll Jim Harbaugh, that’s a mortal lock. Edwards may end up being the juiciest Zero RB grab of the season. No passing game expectation and a “preferred” rookie vulturing snaps in what looks like a bad offense on paper? Mmmmmm, juicy.

Washington (Antonio Gibson out, Austin Ekeler in)

It will be interesting to see how Austin Ekeler gets treated in drafts now that he’s in a situation where he’s not the clear lead back and is another year older. His addition should push Brian Robinson down to an acceptable draft point.

New England (Ezekiel Elliott out, Antonio Gibson in)

Finally, we get to see Antonio Gibson work in an offense that actively wants him. I cannot contain my excitement. My Gibson rostership is going to be unhealthy.

Indianapolis (Zack Moss out)

This will likely be a rookie as the top backup to JT. Considering how productive Moss was last year, that rookie will be a priority Zero-RB target.

Cincinnati (Joe Mixon out, Zack Moss in)

Like his former teammate Devin Singletary, Moss is so generally discounted that we could see another starter fall into the Zero-RB range. Chase Brown is Zero RB gold.

Houston (Devin Singletary out, Joe Mixon in)

The Texans trading for and extending Mixon means he’s the undisputed lead back there. Dameon Pierce slides back into the Zero-RB realm where he belongs.

New York Giants (Saquon Barkley out, Devin Singletary in)

Devin Singletary’s reuniting with his former Buffalo OC, Brian Daboll, is notable. If the bourgeoisie running back drafters are above drafting Giants’ skill players, we could have a starting RB fall to an acceptable Zero RB range.

Philadelphia (D’Andre Swift out, Saquon Barkley in)

Saquon’s compensation is a lot more than the late pick Philly had to give up to get D’Andre Swift last season, so expect him to take a considerable share of the available snaps. Kenneth Gainwell remains on the roster, but I expect they’ll make an investment in RB in the draft. That’s who I’ll be targeting in the Zero-RB range. It’s not like Saquon has been a paragon of durability during his career.

Chicago (D’Andre Swift in)

All hail our patron saint, Khalil Herbert. D’Andre Swift played his first full season in the entirety of his NFL career last year. That’s a data point not a trend (yet). Both Herbert and Roschon Johnson should get some run at some point. Roschon being essentially redundant with Swift dings his value a little bit, contrary to what the Roschon stans will tell you.

Las Vegas (Josh Jacobs out)

I don’t, for a single second, believe Zamir White is going to be the lead back in Sin City. Hopefully he can at least threaten the carry volume of the rookie they draft to push them both into Zero RB range.

Green Bay (Aaron Jones out, Josh Jacobs in)

Still trying to process this one as a Packers fan. Neither one fits as a Zero RB guy though, so let’s focus on what’s important. Emanuel Wilson is the guy I’m interested in here. They trusted him with high-leverage snaps late in the year and in the playoffs when AJ Dillon was hurt. I think he’s a safer bet to make the roster than Dillon is.

Minnesota (Alexander Mattison out, Aaron Jones in)

Ty Chandler makes another appearance in the Zero RB ranks. Jones will be the lead back, but he’s never gotten a full snap share and missed six games last year. Chandler will be an active Zero RB target for me.

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Hope you enjoyed our article on running back free agency. Be sure you’re following Joel on Twitter. You can also find more of his Club Dynasty work, including QB, RB, WR, and TE tiers, here!